BIRMINGHAM KNOW-NOTHINGS: Meet at Fiver's, Friday 6 PM to discuss
Universism, mixology, and who's lame.
HAN SHOT FIRST!!! Pages of documents don't lie!! I have the proof. It's all a matter of
record. Don't believe Lucas' lies!! Send S.A.S.E. and $3 for my fully
referenced pamphlet. Carl the Hutt, 4123 1/2 Omega Street.
FLÜGELMEISTER: The Fox and Hound Club of the Alabama Highlands is presently
interviewing for the position of Flügelmeister for the upcoming fox
season. Buglers need not apply. Send résumé and audition materials to
Alex Fleming, Fox and Hound Club of the Alabama Highlands, c/o this
publication.
LOST: Antique "French-Style" Cast Iron Bath Tub. Last seen in
construction dumpster in Woodlawn Heights neighborhood. 555-9907
AUTOGRAPHED FOOTBALL: Dora High School football, signed by all players. Also available
signed caps from Lassiter Mtn. racers.
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ROLLING STEEL: Hours and hours of hot rolling steel on VHS. P.O. Box
2283, 35201
METAL/POP BAND NEEDS GUITARIST, DRUMMER, BASSIST, MANAGER: I supply the songs, you fill in the sounds and gigs.
Influences: Dionne Warwick, Bal-Sagoth, Morbid Angel, Jacques Brel, Sepultura, Lionel
Richie, etc.
FOUND: Large black cockroach. No collar. Presently living under my
refrigerator. Galleria Woods Apartments area. Email jain@peta.org
MODELS NEEDED: Lonely Hoover-Area Fantasy Artist willing to pay $40/hr
for female model with unrealistic hourglass figure. Muscles a plus.
ARE YOU LONELY? Add your name to our list and 5-10 new
people will telephone you every evening around dinner
time for small talk, special offers, can't miss
opportunities.
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'ARLOGH QOYLU'PU'? VAGH? HLQ' PEM! ( yIchId tlhInganpu' tu'lu'be' 'e'
luSov SenwI' rIlwI' je )
BABY FURNITURE, TOYS, ETC Large selection of baby furniture, toys and clothing no longer needed
after child wandered off. Call for appointment. 555-3442
TO THE BELLE WHO PERCHANCED TO DROP HER HANKY You: Bon vivant mademoiselle with high breeding and thick eyelashes
sauntering down Third Ave on Tuesday. Me: Strapping young chap with a
bestirred heart and a bright future who wishes to arrange for a
rendezvous. Leave calling card for "Pete" at offices of Shropsmeyer,
Striklin, Herker and Meeks.
DO YOU SPEAK FARSI? The SuperJesusChannel has immediate need for up
to three Farsi interpreters to record on-air announcements for our
affiliated SuperMohamedChannel in Tehran, Iran. Apply in person at the
SuperJesusChannel, 777 Beacon Parkway, Birmingham
MAGIC SEEDS: Grab bag assortment. Guaranteed to Surprise. $36.95 Money
Order to P.O.Box 40024 Irondale 35210
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