The Birminghamster
Events Guide




What's Going On?

Sunday, May 6 - Shitty Stages
Highland area residents celebrate the annual day after Do Dah Day by cleaning up the mess (mainly dog) in Rhodes and Rushton parks. It's what puts the Do in Do Dah Day. An especially popular area surrounds the Southwest stage where lots of doggy deposits can be found. It's a rewarding experience helping the animals, and just doggone fun.

Wednesday, May 9 - Birthday Bash
The annual 'Hamster birthday bash. This year 's celebration will be held at the Donnelly House, not far from the architecture dispenser. There will be a dubutante ball taking place in the garden out back, so please come to the front door. If things get really rowdy (like last year) the cotillion might get crashed.

Friday, May 11 - One Week Before City Stages
Please note that City Stages is in May this year, and NOT Father's Day weekend. The weather is supposed to be cooler, and James Spann has promised no rain. Of course Blind Melon promised that too and look what happened. Why is it that weathermen always promise good weather when they actually have no control over it?

Saturday, May 12 - Chawfish Broil
Although not technically a fish, it's whatever comes out of the dip cup when an errant over-the-shoulder cast happens to hook into it. Maynard discovered this delicacy by accident when he accidentally flung his dip cup onto the propane stove. The fish it landed on seemed to taste a whole lot better. Soon after, the boys just took to grilling the thickest part of the dip. Mmm mmm good.

Sunday, May 13 - Canoe
I canoe. Canoe? No really, it's the Coosa Whitewater Festival and race. Watch as the paddlers try to avoid getting their head wet. No one wants pfiesteria in the eyes. Spectators can watch it all from Gold Star Park in Wetumpka.

Monday, May 14 - Taste of the Nation
Join the fight against hunger as area chefs prepare poor children from around the country in an ethnic feast. Chefs from Assagio, Bombay Cafe, and Western Supermarkets demonstrate the best way to prepare a tasty child dish. Whatever food is left will be donated to area schools so Tuesday can be Kids Eat Kids day.

Thursday, May 17 - Story Time
Let your children enjoy the nocturnal wonders of the Birmingham Zoo while listening to a story read by Coyote J. Calhoun. It is unclear what Calhoun will be reading, but the event promises to be exciting anyway. Last year's event become really scary when the screams of a child interrupted the story. The monkeys did finally return the kid after they pulled off his diaper to see what was inside.

Friday, May 18 - City Stages
It starts today you know. If you don't already have that weekend pass, why not? You can't beat $30 for three days of entertainment. At least not in this country.

Sunday, May 20 - Beginning Beekeeping
Learn if you have what it takes to be a beekeeper. Participants will be locked in the small greenhouse as bees are introduced through a small hole. If after twenty or so stings there is no major reaction, smoke will be released to drive the bees away. It will be good smoke too. They will be burning a fat one picked from the private garden behind the bamboo.