Message from Mrs. Lowe

How about a little PR for our home girl,
Allison Lowe and the Damn Millionaires?
Their first release is on sale via their
website and they
certainly need to be recognized by the 'Hamster.

Message from Thomas P.

Great satire. Whenever I get in a funk all I need to do is let the Birminghamster out!

Message from Ben

Hello Birminghamstereditor,

I am a newbie to your site and have, within days, made it my home page. As a loft resident and experiencor (that should be a word) of our esteemed Mayor's plan for economic development...wait. The article speaketh the truth, albeit through sarcastic channels, and has been forwarded to many in my address book. Keep 'em coming.


Message from T Wade

What's with the big DUBBYA ... like LittleLordBushyBoi's campaign sticker... as your first link? Is that your logo?

Message from Susan

"Undeterred by those who scoff at the idealization of a lifestyle that was only possible through rigid racial, sexual and class discrimination, the Mt Laurel credo proclaims, 'One must engage the authentic without immersing oneself in the real.'"

You're killing me. Please don't stop.

Susan of

Message from Trav

You have got to start a monthly magazine!!! This is hysterical! I have not laughed so hard in a long time. A++++

Don't let it go to our heads. - Ed.

Message from LindaLoma

I just read the 'Hamster for the first time, believe it or not! I've emailed it to three friends (including my son, a junior at Mtn. Brook High)!

Message from Blake Guthrie

Thanks for the updates, Hamster. Now here's an update for you, in the form of a shameless plug:

I'll be returning to my hometown on Sat. May 21st to play a gig at the Moonlight Music Cafe. It's a CD release party for my new album. It starts at 8:30.

The Moonlight is located in Vestavia on Montgomery H'wy (H'wy 31) across from an obnoxiously bright corporate video store.

More info at:

Warning: My music sounds nothing like John Mayer's.

Message from Max

I did not know Birmingham had an elite?

Message from Larry

Larry O. Gay
3223 Exeter Avenue
Bessemer, AL 35020

Dear Sir/Madam,

My name is Larry O. Gay, I am a freelance photographer from Bessemer, AL. I would like to invite you to view my new web site. It consist of a variety of images in Birmingham, Alabama.

My web site is name is "My Journey through Birmingham Alabama"

You can view it at:

If interested in any photo or other interest, please feel free to contact me.

Best Wishes,


Message from Frank a.k.a. tense & nervous

ooyah - that's yahoo backwards..


Just stumbled upon this holy grille! Great site -

Could ya, would ya link to

go peek at any of the BANDs Videos - and please let us know if you need a graphic or two for linkage ..

Message from Scott

Indian Springs <3's you.

Message from Lita Gator

You should really check your sources,because my cousin, who is undoubtedly the single most reliable source in Sledge, Mississippi, says that Jesus Christ apeared personally and handed her a blue ballot and later offered her $5.00 for her displayed "I Voted" lapel sticker at precisely the same hour you allege he was handing out voter advice in St. Clair County.
One would have to believe that he could either "beam" himself from place to place with virtually no time lag, or even more ridiculously accept that he could appear in two locations simultaneously. I mean really, what kind of idiots do you take us for?
I really must tell you that, upon a close examination of the photo so graciously provided with your article that you may have really encountered the Byzantine Christ, and not the actual one true Christ whose Mom appears from time to time on a hillside in Shelby County, and who usually "dresses down" a few steps from his gilded and bling-laden eastern counterpart.

Message from John

Attention Alabama Crimson Turd fans: Play UAB in football or suffer the wrath of John Rogers. Hey, UAT chickens, The Bear is dead. Quit living under the ghostly iron thumb of Papa Bear and take your butt whoopin' like a good older sister should.


John - Kingpin of Birmingham, Protector of the Paycheck-Printer-Outer

Message from William

Thought you might like to know, I in my small part, have attempted taking the Hamster international. It is now set as the default homepage on the computers in the business room of a posh London hotel. I am not so sure as to the permanent nature of this move, as setting Explorer homepages is a pretty simple affair (I mean, even I was able to do it). Also - by the way - who the fcuk are you people? Such insight into the pathetic and provencial (like every other place on earth) Ham.

Message from Beth

Speaking of Pizitz bake shops...I loved those places . I remember when i was a kid I used to make a run straight to the counter for the best goodies around . I wish somehow some way I had that cheese stick recipe (2 flavors) they had. I know someone out there has these recipes .. please share them with all of us !!

Message from Google Man

OK, I'm talking about this site on the Big Show on WZRR. Check out our website


Message from Lori

This site is wonderful. Best thing to happen to Birmingham since Visionland.

Message from Brandon

Are you interested in trading links? I have a link to your site posted at Please let me know. Thanks

Message from El Madre Del Merced

Could you link to our site? We would return the favor and I believe that you'll found our outlooks on the world to be compatible.

Message from Sabrina

I'm a new reader/ex Bham resident. Is Mrs. Lowe OK? I just read all her archived work, which I loved (as well as the rest of the archived site), and I understand that Mr. Lowe is no longer with her? How awful. Please let her know how great her work is and how sorry this fan is for her loss. And how wonderful the champagne blossom punch is.

Message from Scott

The service you provide is wonderful. The content of the site summarizes why I love Atlan... I mean, Birmingham.

Message from Blake

I just Googled something else concerning Birmingham and stumbled across this site. Unbelievable! I've been laughing my ass off for the last 15 minutes. Turns out my hometown has a sense of humor after all. I don't even really know you, but I think I love you.

We love you too. And we get googled a lot. -Ed

Message from Glenny

I was delighted w/ this week's cover story about the dirty, dirty Gwen Sykes.

In my exploration of the archives, I enjoyed several of the "Lowe Knows" stories. Is Mrs. Lowe still writing at all? Will she make a comeback?

our new site's up, btw -- linked to yr. fine one.

Message from Kyle

I laughed so hard at your latest edition, I think I suffered a groin injury. You people had better get yourselves a lawyer. But in the meantime, keep up the good work.

Message from Glenny

We at the Weekly love you rodent-savants.

We're in the process of updating our website and plan to add you to our links.

Just cause you rock.

Message from Caleb

Just thought I'd email you to thank you for this fabulous page of fresh, hot news. I only wish it was updated daily instead of monthly. .. but as they say, good things take time.

Best wishes, and keep up the good work

Caleb Box
Birmingham "Elite" citizen

Message from wormsweat

I enjoy visiting your site and i hope you don't mind that i put a link too it from my blog.If you wish for me to remove your link from my blog just let me know.

The Sweat

Message from Jon

Nice issue, especially the Rohan one. I really hope you can come up with something that pisses off the tide/bear fanatics at least quarterly.

Message from Jeff Davenport

Did you ever find anyone with recipes from the Pizitz Bake Shop. I am looking the the chocolate cookie they had.

Message from Scott

Can you please tell me which loft/building the picture is representing in your article "Dot Com Failures Moving to Birmingham" in the August 1, 2001 issue Vol. II, No. VII. We like the picture very much and would like to model our loft after it somewhat. Thank you!

Message from Douglas

Wow! What a really bad website. I guess it's supposed to be humorous, but it really misses the mark. It looks to be written by a ten year old. But then, how could a ten year old afford to maitain a website? I know Mom and Dad would not waste their money on such garbage. When you you are old enough, take some college writing courses. Then, try again.

Message from Haywood Jablome

Hey, love the localized Onion. I would, however, pass on a small item of composition for your consideration: it's called a paragraph, and it can be greatly comforting to readers trying to read a foot long column of solid text. Until you master it, just hit the "enter" key every once in a while when writing a piece. Seriously, kudos to the writers. Very good stuff.

Message from Wayne

My missive.....hmmmmmm

Let's see.....I've submitted this twice before and have yet to recieve an y'all need a good System's Administrator?? missive:

I enjoy your site tremendously, especially, this issue (where else on earth but alabama would a "city" (quotes intentional) declare a Victoria's Secret display as obscene????). If I didn't know for a fact that homewood actually DID pass an ordinance against Victoria's Secret, I'd think this article would win a prize for best fiction....

Keep up the good work and PLEASE add me to your mailing list (as long as you don't try to sell me Photoshop, Viagra (or any other medication, for that matter) or the Paris Hilton video).

Message from Andrew


I need updates, please. Electronic mail updates. Also, are the muckety-mucks there in any way interested in article submissions? I am a veteran writer who is-or was-published quite regularly in this town there for awhile (if that helps).

Thanks, AW

PS: I can prove it, too.

Message from Lee

Attention: The new Birmingham Free Press
website is now up and running. Bookmark Come join us
online. Contribute your opinion and check
out other opinions.
Find and share information about our city
and events important to Birmingham. Based on
the local newspaper, The Birmingham Free
Press, the BFP website includes expanded
content, including unedited stories, BFP
links, BFP Classic and archived stories.
Keep your eyes on us. We plan to continue
expanding content on our website, and
encourage any input from our readers.

Lee Waites

The Birmingham Free Press
9340 Helena Road, Suite F-176
Birmingham, AL 35244-1747

Message from Adam

Great Site, always a must for news about the Magic City and Jefferson County!

Message from Lucy

to someday get the courage to let my inner hellraiser out to play.

Message from Peter

Please add this event to your list
What : How to be Enlightened
When : 7PM Friday Oct.24, 9-5 Oct 25-26
Where: West Pavilion,UAB Hospital,Birmingham Cost : $295 Many scholarships available
Contact Cindy Harman 205-581-2632 or 337-9610 or Transformation Foundation at 800-215-0680
Do you ever get depressed, anxious or short of breath? This workshop will give you all the tools you need to stay in constant joy. Do you want that?

Message from Michael

Since moving from Alabama, I find it pleasing to keep in touch with what's really going on in Alabama. I would like to subscribe to your informative and cutting- edge newsletter. Mom and my pastor said it would be "ok," even though I'm 36 years old.

Message from Randolph

Thanks for being the area's finest news source.

Message from Trey

Great site, guys. I'm a big "Onion" fan, so it's cool to get some down home flava in it.


Message from Stuart

Your clean, refreshing journalism inspired me to buy an eight-pack of Buffalo Rock ginger ale (really!), and to create a Flash widget that lets you dress Vulcan up as the Bear, among other people: e_me_pretty.html
However, for the crime of sacrilege against the gods of the SEC, I hope you eventually go to Sports Fanatic Hell, which is to say, Regular People Heaven.

Message from Holman

I love how most folks can't bring themselves to pull that 1982 Alabama Football schedule off of the wall! As a recent graduate of The University of Alabama (and an avid football fan), I am appalled and oftentimes embarassed at the image the world has of UA, all due to the die-hard, mullet-wearing, trailer park contengency; the majority of whom are still wearing their high school letterman's jacket from 1981 and have never paid for a single credit hour at UA (or at any other institution of higher learning for that matter) and refuse to step into 1983 and accept the fact that The Bear is no longer head coach at The Capstone. If it weren't for these folks getting their panties in a wad I would've sure missed a good 5 minutes of laughter tonight!

Message from Stanley

Hey Guys, Cool site. I also run a web-zine in town, different from yours but similar in some ways too. I was wondering if you would be interested in a link exchange. My site is, and it's been up and running for about a year now. Let me know if you're interested.

Message from Micha

OK. I have had enough. I just finished reading your feedback page and I feel compelled to add to it. I was of the opinion that the 'Hamster was reserved for the few of us who do have a culturally wider horizon than what you can fit between Legion Field and the next Hot Dog Stand. It is unbelievable that readers are taking offense to your latest articles, particularly the ones realted to Alabama Football. Is it really difficult to comprehend that this is a satirical site and that satire, by default definition, is meant to offend (and challenges to think!)? I ask that all of you who actually believe that the 'Hamster is being sponsored by any company GO BACK TO THAT COUCH OF YOURS and WATCH MORE FOOTBALL. Don't even attempt to do anything creative, artistic, or anything else requiring independent thought. ROCK ON HAMSTER!

Message from Ashley

I read all the feedback from the Bear Bryant story. Wow! I thought it was hilarious, and I value the fact that the Birminghamster is pushing the parchment Southern envelope. A long fan of the Onion, I was very happy to stumble across the Birminghamster. Do you take submissions? Bravo to you in the wake of the Bear story shock that is ringing throughout the state.

Message from Richard

Love you guys. You're doing a fine job. Always give yourself permission to cut deeper.

Message from Richard

White and White: Birmingham's Suburban Paper is full of parodic possibilities. A paper run by white republicans that reprints Wall Street Journal articles and calls itself hip and alternative and doesn't realize how marvelously clueless all that is..well, you guys could shoot fish in this barrel.

Message from Jim

This site is great! I hope you do something on old iron ass when they start put'in him back together.

Done. - Ed.