The Birminghamster




What's not on your W2?

I don't keep track of the money I get from selling my prescription drugs. I let Luther handle all of that. He comes and gets the drugs and leaves me the money. He says it is fifty percent of what he gets on the street, but I wonder sometimes if he is shorting me. - Shirly, 84, Retired herd1

herd2 Dieter isn't on there anywhere. I had a lot to drink that night and when he offered to take me home I thought it was a good idea. When I woke up sore the next day with twenty bucks in my shorts, the last thing on my mind was reporting that income. - Beaner, 29, Activist

I do a little sewing on the side. And sometimes people bring me their laundry. I don't think that amounts to enough to worry about. I am a little worried about the money they pay me to make scheisse films in the basement. That is some serious money. Who knew poop was so popular.? - Stella, 40, Homemaker herd3

herdblake I told my daughter to sell her girl scout cookies for three fifty a box. That way she learns something about the business world, and gets to pocket a little money in the process. Now she can learn the next lesson by not reporting any of her ill gotten gain. - Jimmy, 48, Father

Nothing I do is for money. I do it all, will do you, just for the sheer pleasure of it. It is a good thing they can't tax insatiability. - Chris, 28, Feature Presentation herd5

herd6 The money I make giving my talk on Jesus is non-taxable. I set myself up as a non-profit and thus benefit by not paying any property tax. It's a win-win situation for me. - Charles, 45, Preacher

I had to hide everything this year just to keep the Bel Air home. Royalty checks aren't what they used to be. I hear Tarantino may have something for me in his next movie though. - Bert, 55, Next Big Thing herd7

herd8 Taxes are not what made this country great. Bearing arms, owning land, and not being French are what did it. If you pay those taxes you are a fool. - Sam, 40, Brewer-Patriot