The Birminghamster




What did you get at the gun show?

I thought I needed some protection, what with the riff raff that has taken over Quinlan Castle, so I asked a nice man outside the Civic Center what type of gun I should buy. He told me he had a good one he would sell me, and I wouldn't even have to pay to go inside. He said it was something called a Saturday Night Special, and seemed to be anxious to get rid of it. - Shirly, 84, No longer helpless herd1

herd2 I think guns are just plain stupid. I moved to the south to escape all that senseless yankee gun violence, only to find myself surrounded by so called sportsman who have much more serious weapons than the New York hoods. - Beaner, 29, Pacifist

I went to get my ballistic finger print made only to find that the service wasn't being offered this year. There was however a tattoo stand set up, so I got me one of a gun shooting a whole through a heart. It was for my boyfriend, because my husband doesn't go for that kind of thing. But it won't matter because he'll never see it where I had it done. - Stella, 40, Homemaker herd3

herdblake I had hoped that the gun show would raise enough money to fund another gun buy back at Ramsay High School. But the price of guns has gone up so much that we have to pay almost retail price to get anyone to give them up - Jimmy, 48, Leader