The Birminghamster




What is your New Years Resolution?

herd1 I want to live the next year on the highest possible state of alert. - Carl, 47, General Contractor

I am giving up meat, dairy, sugar, artificial additives and preservatives, pills, sweeteners, caffeine, alcohol, lipids, salt and spicy foods. I want to live life to it's fullest. - Jillian, 19, activist herd2

herd3 I'm going to sell my SUV and by one of those 'segway' doohickies. Then I can commute circles around everybody else stuck on the detour routes and laugh my skinny little white ass off. - Bruce, 27, webmaster

I'm going to simmer down now. - Jimmy, 55, pediatrician herd4

herd5 Yo necesito trabajar para ganar dinero bastante para alimentar mi familia, pero no tengo una carta verde del I.N.S. Por lo tanto buscaré un trabajo en la la fábrica del pollo. - Hector, 30, breadwinner

I thought I might get around to watching '2001: A Space Odyssey.' It always seemed so sinister before, but I think I could stomach it now that we know we're safe from bone-club wielding monkeys. - Lily Mae, 71, computer consultant herd6

herd6 I will submit myself totally to the will of Allah as is commanded by the Holy Prophet, Blessings be upon Him. - Khalid, 51, air-traffic controller

I'm going to wear out my new X-box! That didn't take as long as I thought. - Jeremy, 19, food-service technician herd6