The Birminghamster




What is your opinion of President Bush's new Energy Plan?

herd1herd1 We're hugely in favor of this plan. I think it's the best choice to assure the standard of living we have come to expect. - Jenna & Barbara, 20, first daughters

I can attest that the best route toward a secure energy policy is to increase dependence on unreliable energy sources managed by private interests. Hell, if it work's in California, let's bring it here! - Dylan, 31, former Beaner herd2

herd3 When employees see this policy as focusing on irresponsible increases in production, they forget the call for government offices to conserve through the use of old style, energy-conscious technologies like helicopter couriers and long-distance pneumatic tubes. Instead they continue to use wasteful convenyances like email. - Claire, 56, Agency director

My husband's bald spot is a solar panel for a sex machine. *giggle* - Jessie, 72, long-haul trucker herd4

herd5 The important thing to remember is that this policy is the result of Bush's clear mandate from America's voters to create crises that can be solved by draconian usurpations of public interests for the sake of stuffing an already bloated economy. - Sam, 49, brewer, patriot

This policy simultaneously addresses this nation's desperate overesposure to cancer causing sun rays while acting to neutralize the dangerous pockets of flammable materials buried right under our feet. - Angela, 36, publicist herd6