The Birminghamster




What are you doing with your tax relief check?

herd1 I think it's time I bought that new fishin' rod and take some of my district kids and teach them to become fishers of men. I don't know what we'll find down there on Village Creek, but whatever we catch belongs to the Lord. - Aldrich Gunn, 65, Statesman

Will $300 get me a flight back to Birmingham? These politicians up here are crazy. And it's not even safe to drive my SUV after dark. - Dylan, 31, former Beaner herd2

herd3 I need a wax job, and so does my M-Class. - Claire, 38, Kindergarten Teacher

I need several new copy machines for my basement, and some of those gel wrist wrests. There is going to be a war on this fall. - JB, 50, Statesman herd4

herd5 My boyfriend says that I need to get some sort of test. My husband won't pay for it so maybe the government can help. - Gloria, 22, Confused

It's a drop in the bucket I know, but maybe we can all chip in to get some of these foreigners off our streets. - Angela, 42, Scotch-Irish herd6