Not hick enough?

Name Does Not Mean Whites Only
Alabaster() The mayor and city council of Alabaster have announced their first official celebration of black history month. The resolution adopted Tuesday includes statutes designed to make Alabaster a less friendly place for whites during the month of February. Mayor David Frings said that the city will in effect "live" modern black history for the entire month. "Since this is our first celebration, we wanted to do it right and put substance over symbolism."

The first ordinance adopted states that "all gasoline service stations within the City are to require pre-payment for all gas purchases." Most stations have already placed signs with the new requirements on their pumps. Many are also requiring customers to present the proper id in order to use a credit card. "We couldn't be happier with the response from our merchant community," said Frings. "Most service stations have even removed the little tab that keeps the pump on automatically. I never realized how such a small thing could be so important to me."

Another ordinance proclaims "that banks located in the City will deny all loans for the purpose of purchasing a home in any predominantly white neighborhood." "While we can only assume that this redlining practice is dead in America, for the purposes of black history month we felt it was a natural," said Frings. Although this policy will negatively affect potential homebuyers, home builders, and tradespeople, a mitigating factor is that the month of February is normally slow for home sales and new construction.

Other events in the resolution include 'random search and seizure day', 'being talked down to day', 'passed over for promotion day', and 'pre-employment screening day' to name a few. The city is commited to "living modern black history" the resolution states. And although its name is Alabaster, the city is "not for whites only." To mark the end of the month-long festivities, a Black & Alabaster ball will be held at the old Train Depot. Proceeds from the $100 a plate dinner will benefit the Alabama Republican Party.