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Arkestra Resting Place Discovered On Titan
Space() - The final resting place of the Arkestra was discovered this week by scientists analyzing data from the European Space Agency's Huygens probe. The Huygens lander, which piggybacked a 7 year ride to Saturn on NASA's Cassini probe, was dropped towards Titan on Christmas Eve 2004. During the probe's brief life on the frigid surface, sensors and cameras gathered millions of bytes of data on what life must be like on the solar system's second largest moon. Early raw images revealed a groovy landscape, thick with atmosphere and covered in titanic seas. Not until recently have the images been fully processed to reveal any 'new things'. "We were finally able to process some of the image data through the MC5 discriminator," said Chief Imagic Technician Jacob Elders. "That really blew our minds."

To the surprise and delight of the European scientists, one image clearly shows what can only be bits of the Arkestra at its final resting place. "We think the Mothership was seeking out a place with some atmosphere, free from 'foreign rules', and they found it on Titan," said Jurgen Portnow of the Danish Myth Science Institute. "Then they mixed their own atmospherics with those of Saturn's titanic moon." The Arkestra appears to have landed on a peak surrounded by a rhythmic pulsing ocean of liquid methane.

Additional processing has also been completed on the audio recordings made by Huygens during its descent through Titan's atmosphere. Associates at Y Records made several attempts to remove the white noise by applying opposing waveforms. We have obtained a file containing preliminary results of their ongoing efforts. Clearly audible are the sounds the Arkestra must have made during its own descent, forever captured on the winds of an alien world. "It's like so there, man," said Portnow.