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Louisville - Boise State To Be Replayed
No One Saw Who Won
BJCC (JM) - NCAA officials have determined that the first round match-up between Boise State University and the University of Louisville must be replayed because there were apparently no official records of who won the game, and no witnesses have come forward.

Official Ed Hightower, who worked the early game between Oklahoma and Saint Joseph's confirmed that the late game did tip off. He believes the game was still scoreless, however, when he left the arena. After delivering the commemorative NCAA Tournament coin to Curtis Shaw, head of the second crew, Hightower walked as far as 2nd Avenue North before returning to the Subway Sandwiches located in the Sheraton Hotel.

Shaw and his colleagues have yet to report to their superiors. A homeless man living under the I-20/I-59 bridge told police that he saw three zebras getting on a bus with fish dancing on it. At first it was thought that they might have boarded the free shuttle bus to George Sarris' Fish Market Restaurant and Newk's Express Café on Southside, but driver Antoine Broadus told police that only two people boarded the bus at the Civic Center all night, and they asked to be let off two blocks later when Broadus refused to take them to The Furnace gentlemen's club.

Without an official scorer's report, the NCAA would normally review video recorded by television cameras or accept media accounts of the game. Neither option was available as CBS had decided to air a very special "Big Brother" reunion on the evening of the 21st when the game was apparently played and the print media apparently went to Gabriel's Cafe in Hoover to try their hand at trivia, thinking they could catch up with the tournament later on Tivo.

With no official reports available, the NCAA contacted the athletics departments of both schools to question members of the respective teams, but received wildly conflicting reports. Boise State senior guard Matt Bauscher said, "oh, we totally killed them. I think it was my three-point shooting that took the crowd out of it early and allowed us to keep the momentum". On the other hand, Louisville forward Juan Palacios remembers that it was his breakaway dunk early-on that silenced the crowd and gave the Cardinals the advantage. Louisville head coach Rick Pitino refused to comment, merely glaring at officials until they left.

That left the NCAA with ticket holders as the last possible source of information. Hoping to find someone who had taken a photograph of the scoreboard after the game, anyone who had written the score on a championship bracket, or even someone who had collected on a points-based wager, the NCAA took the unprecedented step of contacting ticket-buyers through credit card records. So far they have been unable to reach anyone who actually attended the game. "I still have my tickets," said attorney Anthony Brown, "in fact, when the NCAA contacted me I offered to sell them at 1/4 of face value, but no dice. Oh well."

With all potential sources of information failing, the NCAA has decided to reschedule the game for this Thursday evening. Tickets are free and may be picked up in packets of four at area Arby's locations or through the BJCC ticket office, which is probably near the coliseum somewhere.