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Local Man Gets MySpace Account
Hueytown() - Last Monday, Hueytown resident James Whitcomb discovered a site on the internet where he could filter through a database of people and quickly find those that shared some of his same interests. Within minutes of landing on, Whitcomb was corresponding with several women who had sent him their friend requests. One, a thin blond twentysomething named Tiffany, said that she thought Whitcomb "seemd [sic] cool" and that she was looking for someone who was "100% hot."

However, when Whitcomb clicked her profile a Windows Media ad for popped-up. After clicking out of it, stopping the page and reloading several times, Whitcomb couldn't find the right timing of clicks to interrupt the video to see Tiffany's profile behind. "How is she supposed to get to the next phase with anyone with an annoying pop-up ad like that? It's a shame, she seemed like she was looking for something real."

Whitcomb began refining his profile and blog in order to ensure that he was coming across as a good Christian man in order to attract the right kind of 'friends'. "I mean I am a Christian, I guess," said Whitcomb. "But that doesn't mean I want a relationship with a chick that doesn't put out. I just thought the Christian thing was a good screen." Now Whitcomb is not so sure. Since adding the Christian elements to his MySpace account, he has been receiving friend requests from too many guys.

So Whitcomb has decided to try another approach. Instead of coming across as ultra clean and Christian, he is pretending to give up on myspace and claimed in his blog that no one on the site was "real", and certainly no one could "hold a candle" to him. Since that entry he's been receiving requests from woman across the globe, though not neccesarily the type he'd like to spend his life with. "This one chick came all the way from Tulsa to meet up with me," said Whitcomb. "She was expecting this total asshole, but when she found out I was actually a pretty nice guy she decided to move to Hueytown right then and there. I told her not to waste her time and to also post a RECENT photograph that depicts the 20 or so pounds she's gained since graduating from OU. Still, her desperation probably says more about Tulsa than anything else."

Whitcomb is not convinced that MySpace is the right place for him. "I feel like I've turned an emotional corner in my life and I'm ready for some thing real again," he said. "I thought I could find it in this virtual world, but now I'm not so sure." Whitcomb has not given up hope yet and has been Photoshopping his profile picture and refining his perfect mix tape to include more 'pick-up' songs and less 'established romance' tunes.