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Local Marvel Universe Expert Disputes Forbes Power Ranking
Birmingham() - Local Web 2.0 developer and Marvel Universe expert Stan Severin has found Forbes Magazine's power rating of UAT head football coach Nick Saban to be completely inaccurate. Forbes recently placed Saban on its cover as the most powerful coach in the World (a subset of the Marvel Universe). Severin compared Saban's ability scores with the rest of the Marvel Universe and was only able to place Saban on Tier 15. "He has similar powers to Overmind and Apocalypse, but comes nowhere close to The Beyonder (pre-retcon) or The Living Tribunal," said Severin. "They've got his intelligence at a 7! Maybe he is the most intelligent HUMAN in Marvel, but 7 means you know EVERYTHING there is to know. I think the last human to know everything died in like 1609."

It isn't just Saban's intelligence that Severin finds fault with. According to him there are glaring mistakes in the ratings for strength (5), speed (6), durability (6), energy projection (4), and fighting ability (7). "Take energy projection," said Severin. "Sure Saban has that concussive shout that can knock players to the ground, but a 4? That would be like the 'Aura of Amazing' that Pete Carroll is able to cast over the Coliseum." There are rumors that Saban is able to kill members of the media with a single glance, but Severin believes that reports like this are simply part of the Saban mythos and not related to actual in-universe powers. "They said that Molecule Man could defeat The Beyonder too didn't they?" asked Severin.

When different people are asked to rank humans with higher order psionic abilities, minor incongruencies are inevitable. For example, long has the debate raged over whether Parseghian was a better pure coach than Bryant. "And reasonable people might argue over whether Galactus has a 6 or 7 intelligence," said Severin. "But some of these ratings must have come from NooBs on crack! Not even Bear Bryant had a fighting ability of 7, and he WRESTLED A BEAR!" Severin thinks that Saban's ratings should be closer to 3 across the board. "He is definitely more than human, which would have given him zeroes and ones," he said. "The only place he doesn't warrant a 3 is in durability. He doesn't seem to be able to hold the same position very long."