The Birminghamster
Lowe Knows




by Mrs. Lowe

Renowned Redneck Recipes

Welllll, here goes. The Birminghamster asked me to do a column, see, of favorite recipes from my home state of Alabama. I guess it is because the head honcho is a long time friend of my daughter and I used to have to run him off at 3:00 AM. The guy just didn't know when to go home! Anyway, I sort of liked him then and still do. In fact, I'm right proud of him. So, I agreed. The following is one of my most renowned red neck recipes which all the sports fans demand during whatever season they happen to be in. But, speaking of sports fans, the following was overheard recently in PT's Sports Bar in Mountain Brook soon after the devastating death of NASCAR race driver Dale Earnhardt:

Patron #1: Well boys, we lost a good one. But you know, God is a Race Fan and he just took the best to be with Him.

Patron #2: Yeah, you're right about that for sure buddy, you're right about that.

Patron #3: The thing is, Earnhardt wasn't only the best race car driver in NASCAR, he was a public figure, a leader among men, an icon of American Statesmanship. I really believed the guy would run for President one day. He had already united race fans in Alabama. People in Mountain Brook loved him as much as people in Hueytown. Auburn fans liked him as much as Alabama fans did. He was being groomed for the Presidency is what I've heard.

Patron #2: Yeah, I heard that same thing at the Bar Association Meeting last week. Could you bring us another round Sweetheart? I have a client from Hueytown (a guy I knew in college at Auburn). He called me last night and I was afraid his girlfriend had died or something because of the way he was cryin' and carryin' on. Turns out he was just overwhelmed with grief over this thing. He and his girlfriend had just missed out on being in Daytona at the race because his wife had loaned their motor home to her sorry ass brother and his wife. He wanted to know if I thought he could sue his brother in law.

Patron #1: Well boys, I don't think God would approve of us takin' this to such extremes. Just because a man misses out on actually being there to SEE the wreck happen is no sign he can just sue ever' body he knows, now is it?

Patron #3: Of course not. Why, I've even heard that NASCAR is going to fold now that it's leaders have all been killed. There just won't be any more NASCAR. Do ya'll think that could really ever happen? If we keep on suing ever body we know for stuff like that, I've heard that's exactly what might happen. Did ya'll hear that?

Patron #1: I heard 'dat! You know what it says in the Bible...speed kills.

..................and now for the Recipe


You may fill in the blank for your favorite season. This is also been known as the 1-2-3 of Sausage Balls because of its simplistic ingredients.

1 pound of hot sausage. (The greasier the better)
2 cups of grated high fat cheddar cheese (The higher fat content, the better)
3 cups of Bisquick (NOT the reduced fat kind)

1. Mix all ingredients together by hand (preferably clean hands)
2. Roll into balls the size of a quarter
3. Bake in a preheated 325* oven until slightly brown and bubbly. Do not over bake as these will taste a bit like rocks. Your men will refuse to eat them and they will have to be given to the dogs.