The Birminghamster
Lowe Knows




by Mrs. Lowe


Just got back from Texas, ya'll. Went to see my baby girl. Took a friend from out of the past with me just for the company and because she likes music and a couple of guys we both like were playing at Billy Bob's Texas on two consecutive weekends. Between shows, we traveled on down to San Antone to take in a few sights and do a little shopping around! All in all, it was a good week.

The shows were excellent and Billy Bob's has a certain flavor that you just don't get in the 'Ham, folks. Maybe the most amazing thing we saw there was the couple so in love that they were completely oblivious to their surroundings! I am certain that they had forgotten all about being in Billy Bob's (which only holds 6,000 people) because the girl was sitting on the guys LAP while facing him and smoochin' up a storm! He was one of those big meaty guys with the tight jeans, boots, big belt buckle and stiffly starched shirt and was BALD as an eagle. I reckon he had shaved it off himself because it was totally free of any sign of hair and shiny as a boiled egg. He musta' thought he was REAL purty. That's the ONLY explanation we could come up with. Now, we all decided that he wasn't gettin' as much as she was givin' because he was pretty much comatose during all this action. He NEVER moved ya'll, not one squirm or wiggle. She was all over him like a mouse in a cheese factory. She was rubbin' that bald head and kissin' that ole thick neck and it was a SIGHT, I'm tellin' you! And they weren't even sitting in the X-rated section! I mean that IS a good position and all - just not in the middle of Billy Bob's!

My old sidekick and I were in awe! We've done a bit of late night carousing in the old days. Those dear readers in our generation will remember us from the Plaza and the Five O'Clock Club, the Boom Boom Room, the Office Lounge, not to mention some other places now lost to memory. But NEVER, tender readers, have we seen such a blatant display of public LUST. And the poor guy was so drunk he didn't even KNOW what he was missin'. Made me kind of sad for him. Oh, well. Some things are better left in Texas, don't you think?

Now, speaking of leaving things in Texas, you can leave the traffic problems there. We have enough of our own raht 'chere' in Burmenhayam, I am sure you all agree, and we don't need any more of their Mexican restaurants either, do we? One of the few Mexican eateries in town who can properly cook a Chile Relleno, however, is Mexico Lindo - formerly El Palacio - on Highway 31 in the Hoover-Vestavia area. They do it up right - stuff the poblano pepper with meat and cheese, dip it in an egg batter and deep fry it until it's all puffy and crisp on the outside and melted and cheesy on the inside. Actually, I prefer the food there to some I had in San Antonio. If they only had the River Walk and all the little twinkly lights reflecting off the water and the Mariachi band playing to the tourists at the River Centre it would be just as good. Maybe Larry Langford could add some tables to the sidewalks at VisionLand around the water slide and river ride! They could have a tamale stand and a couple of guys from the Mexican apartment complex here in Hoover to come out after work and roam around the tables with a Latino tape on their 'blaster. I like it! I think it would go over here as well as a pro team. Maybe they could even build a dome over the tables and add twinkly lights to it. Yeah, and maybe...

The very best Guacamole Dip in town is at Zapata on Valleydale and 31 South. It is really fresh and chunky with lots of cilantro, onion and chopped tomato. I am sure they add a little lime juice too. The Mexico Lindo Chile Rellenos and Zapata's Guacamole can't be beat in Texas (or even in Mexico) and certainly not within these pages so I am not including a recipe in this week's column. Just call them or go by - I am sure they will be happy to give it to you if you can understand Spanish.