Wednesday, May 24 - Shakespeare in the Park
Garden Variety Shakespeare presents "McWane" a parody of one of the bard's most popular plays. Don't miss this performance as heads will roll...with laughter.

Thursday, May 25 - Undecorate the Showhouse
Participants scramble to make off with as much high priced yet tacky furniture as will fit in their Suburbans. Stay around long enough to see the carpets pulled up and the draperies torn down.

Friday, May 26 - Mission Impossible II Release Party
My house. Bring your own Woo.

Saturday, May 27 - The Penis Logs
A play featuring various local actors telling stories involving their penises. Hear tales with such characters as Mr. Skinny Britches and Pokey Power Tool Ram Man. Loosely based on the writings of Somerset Maugham.

Sunday, May 28 - Rodeo
Championship bull riding at the BJCC.

Monday, May 29 - Memorial Day Parade
Vestavia Hills. Highway 31 will be closed from 5AM until approximately 10PM for the event that includes the Vestavia Hills High School band, cheerleaders, and several vehicles from the fire department.

Tuesday, May 30 - I Really Love Hoover Day
This first annual event held at the Hoover Met will have free beer and barbecue for the whole family. Starting at 6PM will be a free baseball game featuring newly signed Baron Garth Brooks who will then give a free concert. The event is free.

Wednesday, May 31 - Kid Rock Kids Kampout
Join area Kid Rock fans 14 and under as they begin their wait for tickets. Activities include "Who's The Skinniest" and "Vann's or Not."

Thursday, June 1 - Traffic Light Synchronization
Traffic lights in downtown Birmingham will be synchronized for one day only. Don't miss it.

Friday, June 2 - The Sound of Music
The Alabama Theatre presents its first selection in the 2000 Summer Film Series. Movie shows through Monday. Doors open at 7PM with a 2PM matinee only on Sunday. Hear the Alabama's multi-million dollar sound system distort the octave with cruel efficiency in the famed ditty 'Do Re Mi' and marvel at your ability to roughly follow the plot of this celebrated motion picture even though the dialogue may as well be in German. Subtitles will not be provided, and would be too blurry to read anyway. No smoking or americanized spelling is allowed in the theatre.

Saturday, June 3 - Battlefield Earth
Last day to see "Battlefield Earth" in theaters. Major motion picture starring John 'Royale with Cheese' Travolta and Forrest 'Crying Game' Whitaker ends a spectacular two week run at the box-office. Scientologists are urged to attend non-peak screenings and to share seats so that the message can be heard by the greatest number of the unenlightened. (Rated PG-13 for full frontal views of Kelly Preston's tongue)

Sunday, June 4 - How Do You Solve a Problem Like Maria?
Discussion on this topic will be held at Arte Nuda Wine Bar in the historic Lakeview district. Bring your own ideas and be prepared to defend them in an LD style debate.

Monday, June 5 - Monster Truck Roundup
Truxpo Truck tour event aftermath at the Talladega Super Speedway. Previous Truxpo events have required activation of the National Guard and planeloads of tear-gas to break up. All residents of Talledega County are asked to be on alert and to keep radios tuned for possible civil defense warnings. Recreation on Lake Logan Martin will be limited to non-motorized activity throughout the day in order to avoid monster truck mating call misidentification.

Tuesday, June 6 - Anger Management with Jackson Browne
The world famous singer-songwriter talks about successful anger management techniques while explaining that "she really did deserve it though."